The sky is full of rain clouds and a gentle, steady rain is falling. It is methodically moisturizing my little corner of the world. As I gaze at the drops of water continuously cascading down, I feel calm and relaxed. There is just something about a rainy day that makes me a little sleepy, feel a little lazy...
You know it reminds me of God's love for me. No matter what season of life I am in, God's love continues to pour down upon me. Regardless of where I am, His love refreshes me and relaxes me. I can start to sense God is in control of a situation and I can feel my spirit ease out of the rigid, disabling state of despair. His love showers over me and I am free. I am forgiven. I am whole. I am loved and I am His.
Today was a mediocre clinical day for me. There was not a lot to see or do where I was and it made for a long day for me and for the nurse I was following. I tried to make the best of it and look for any opportunity to learn something new but there were few of those moments. My children are spending the night with Paul's parents again tonight and they've been there all day so I miss them terribly. I talked to them at lunch and spoke with my daughter as soon as I was on my way home, but I miss them just the same. Paul works long hours and when he finally gets home we barely have time to eat supper together and exchange weary glances before he is off to grab a shower and head for bed. The hour and a half drive home is relaxing at times but when the traffic gets a little congested and the winding road seems to never end, it loses the appeal quickly. I opened my driver's side door and the soft sound of gently falling rain just began to melt away my heaviness and I smiled. That's God!
I have so much on my mind right now. I need to find a job and I don't want just any job because this is the start of my nursing career. I still have four weeks to finish of lecture and clinical plus two more final examinations to take before I am fully done, so there is the stress of due dates, lengthy reading sessions, and time-consuming paperwork that feels like it may never be done. I miss my kids so much and wish our schedules were better so I could be home with them more and spend more time with them. I wish my husband and I could have more time together as a family and as a couple to discuss things and plan ahead, but it seems like we continue to put off things until "tomorrow" and it just doesn't ever come. But then the rain came.
I know that I am not alone. Are you having a dry spell in your spiritual life? Is it hard to find time to spend alone with God because of all the distractions? In today's face-paced world we just continue to be bombarded with technology, activities, media, and everything but taking a little time to wait on God. If it is a big enough downpour, I will sit in the car until the rain slacks off and then I can make a mad dash for wherever I may be going. Sometimes our lives are so full of everything that it feels like a downpour and it's God's way of saying, "Wait on Me. Sit this one out. Stop worrying. Let everything else go and come to Me." Sometimes it takes a downpour.
Today it just took a gentle rain to remind me to slow up. It was enough to see the sprinkles fall from the clouds to bring to mind all of the time God's blessings have been sprinkled into my life. I am grateful for a higher education. I am thankful for the clinical experiences I have had to sharpen my skills and learn new things. I am so content with the family God has given me. We are blessed to have loving family members to watch our children while we are at work and college. It is such a wonderful gift that my husband has a job so he can pay all of the bills while I am earning a degree. Yes, my life is not ideal at times, but it is full of God's love and blessings. Jesus, bring the rain!
Hugs,
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